I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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