I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Swine flu is the new snow day.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
