Porn is love you can see.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
