Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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