She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
