So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
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this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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