Already got asked if we're dating
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
