Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
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one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
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So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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