my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sext me about skeletons
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
