I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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