their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
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I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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