i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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