ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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