don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
is wine microwaveable?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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