I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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