Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
