My room smells like vodka and shame
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...