Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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