Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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