Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie