i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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