Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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