OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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