we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Ketchup is God's man juice
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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