Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
