Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Boobs are out for the taking
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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