mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize