maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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