you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
