An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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