remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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