your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
im on a boat
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