they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
