last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
