I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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