Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
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A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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