i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.