Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license http://tfl.nu/t0ir
  Replies (13) Good night (5537) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i wish peter jackson would direct porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): i wish peter jackson would direct porn http://tfl.nu/76vz
  Replies (14) Good night (3896) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me http://tfl.nu/l4ts
  Replies (6) Good night (1159) Bad night (3496)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (4617)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen http://tfl.nu/az2y
  Replies (29) Good night (5385) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate. http://tfl.nu/63ss
  Replies (32) Good night (6851) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered. http://tfl.nu/u71a
  Replies (15) Good night (7500) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (+03): View more from

  Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+03): Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here' http://tfl.nu/86hi
  Replies (14) Good night (6625) Bad night (1452)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that. http://tfl.nu/pr0e
  Replies (21) Good night (1489) Bad night (5271)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week http://tfl.nu/hrh1
  Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating. http://tfl.nu/5a1l
  Replies (10) Good night (2532) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch http://tfl.nu/bywg
  Replies (7) Good night (1451) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year... http://tfl.nu/2wth
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her. http://tfl.nu/tvor
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch. http://tfl.nu/utw7
  Replies (0) Good night (605) Bad night (356)

Randomize