I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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