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• (269): View more from Michigan

  3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You drinking a lot?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  No.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Define a lot

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high

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• (209): View more from California

  There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner

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• (585): View more from New York

  He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first

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