Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

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  (510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted. http://tfl.nu/vxmy
  Replies (46) Good night (946) Bad night (5818)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

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  (617): i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine http://tfl.nu/ryw8
  Replies (33) Good night (879) Bad night (3622)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.

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  (404): alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/ialt
  Replies (43) Good night (709) Bad night (4835)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..

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  (785): it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string.. http://tfl.nu/4pq8
  Replies (28) Good night (760) Bad night (7375)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

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  (703): She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all. http://tfl.nu/qt2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5174) Bad night (1110)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.

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  (617): He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/v8g0
  Replies (14) Good night (5873) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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  (402): Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then. http://tfl.nu/941i
  Replies (24) Good night (5159) Bad night (1235)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.

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  (720): When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail. http://tfl.nu/a5d0
  Replies (13) Good night (1101) Bad night (4245)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.

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  (803): Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical. http://tfl.nu/xb5u
  Replies (19) Good night (4506) Bad night (1477)
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  (845): View more from New York

  you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away

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  (845): you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away http://tfl.nu/uj7c
  Replies (3) Good night (2860) Bad night (913)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.

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  (214): If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class. http://tfl.nu/5suq
  Replies (7) Good night (2813) Bad night (1075)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.

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  (860): Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ht1g
  Replies (4) Good night (1283) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian

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  (775): A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian http://tfl.nu/crio
  Replies (2) Good night (1925) Bad night (520)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals

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  (413): He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals http://tfl.nu/hgzz
  Replies (4) Good night (1164) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself

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  (518): i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself http://tfl.nu/xmm2
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (306)

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