He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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