i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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