youre lurking in front of me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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