Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
