Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
