I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
