brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I CAN MOONWALK!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
