Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
