It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Shame - the story of my life.
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