end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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