Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
