i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
