1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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