One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I am available for nakedness
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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