We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think my vagina is haunted
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize