Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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