can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
