I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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