dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
