My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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