She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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