i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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