it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
