i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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