so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
