worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize