so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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