I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
