i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
third nipple confirmed
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
