My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
