I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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