While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
