I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
